Dear mom-of-toddler, It truly gets better!

Hey blogfam, January sped by, didn’t it?

Well, that’s a first in many ways. So PRAISE GOD.

The post today is for my darling moms of toddlers.. I have gooood news 💃🏻

But before I get into it;

Let’s do some breathing exercises, shall we?

BREATHE IN

OUT.

IN

OUT.

Yas! Thank you for doing that. I hope it made you feel better as much it made me feel.

Now to the news shall we? It ain’t something grand but I hope it assures you & add sunshine to your day and so here goes:

IT GETS BETTER, It truly gets better.

Now, let me give you a backstory that informed this blog post….

So, recently ehn, I have been watching my 4 year old a lil more closely because I have had this kinda peace that’s mixed with cups of worry. I know that sounds a bit confusing, but stay with me, will you?

You know that kind of “worried-peace” you have when you step out of a room & your child goes quiet for a while? You feel peaceful about being able to breathe w/o a thousand mommmy moomy mommyy, then worry about what they may be doing that got them quiet, and just while you’re at it, your brain is thinking up a million worst case scenarios of what could be happening.

Get the picture now?

Yea.

This is how I have been feeling recently because my throwing tantrum 2 year old is no where to be found, my disturb mommy at every chance she gets 3 year old is also missing—What I have in my house now is this very understanding 4 year old, who is gradually becoming my best friend and a part of that scares me because really—- how?

Let me paint you a picture,

Scenerio one

Quiet time has been extremely easy

Me: Hey baby, let’s have some quiet time shall we?

The 4-year-old in my house: ok mama

We set the timer to 10-15 mins & then sit together

I stand at some point, she is tempted to talk, but stifles it covering her mouth, I give a thumbs up.

Timer rings out

She says mommy- MORE!

Likeeeee what?

This same girl who has made quiet time tire me in the last one year that I have been tryna cultivate it- says more?

God is good.

Scenerio 2

The 4 year old in my house: Mommy, I am done pupuing – ( her word for when she’s done using the toilet)

ME: Use the tissue baby & wash your hand

SHE ACTUALLY DOES.

And has been able to do a good job with that.

We’re 3 months ish into this practice now… and oh boy the relieve of not having to leave whatever I am doing to rinse bumbum every other hour is fulfilling

I however make the time to clean her bum myself from time-to-time during the day when I am free and can do it.

She also bathes & brush herself every single night with sheer JOY.

Can a mama ask for more?

Apparently YES

Scenerio 3- the not-so-shiny one

So during the last holiday, she did something terrible. She allowed her 5-7 year old friends (our neigbours’s kids) persuade her to do something that is clearly wrong while they came visiting. They physically damaged something in her room and she didn’t say anything to mommy until they went back to their homes.

So I GROUND HER, after confirming who the culprit was.

Me: Almond, that was not so cool. How come you let your friends damage this thing & you didn’t tell mommy before they left?

The 4-year-old in my house: *looking sad* I didn’t want them to be angry with me

Me: I go on to lecture her about why seeking acceptance from friends against doing the right thing is wrong. And then pass the judgement. You are grounded. For one week.

What being grounded means in our book – No TV time/cartoons NOR visits to or from friends

She nods her head, understanding the gravity of what she did & the punishment—being grounded during the holiday means her 30-45 mins TV slot is gone & she plays by herself for a whole week – to a 4 year old only child – that’s HELL right there. I didn’t care.

And to make sure we didn’t have to go over the rules-  I spoke to her friends the next time they came around- why they are not allowed to come knock my door or expect their precious friend at theirs for the next one week because of what they all did. We all reach an understanding & disperse.

The one week went by and she didn’t actually SULK.

She just reminded at every chance that she will do better when her TIME OUT is over.

“I will never never let anybody damage anything in my room again and when they do, I will report it to mommy immediately” she repeatedly said…. Is this my child? Haha 💃🏻🤣

The one week time-out wasn’t easy for even me cause I read her a thousand & one story books literally to keep her entertained. Hahaa

But she understood what she did & took the repercussions with GRACE.

THIS IS NEW on many levels.

The girl I used to know sulks way too much.

All these, combined with how well she has taken the new changes I recently made due to my renewed mindset of NO MORE JUNK/ too many cereal in my home

Ribena, capriosone, fresh Yo- are all now out

Nutella, Golden morn, Coco pops etc – GONE, explaining to her the importance of wholesome foods like oats— that since she is becoming a big girl now, she doesn’t really need them anyway.

We switched to regular smoothies, fruits , coaster & cracker for SNACKS and this child of mine has taken it with grace for a whole month & counting ( like 6 weeks to be precise). I honestly didn’t expect it to be this easy. She was such a huge cereal lover. To say I was surprised will be an understatement.

Amma keep you guys posted as it goes , but this 6 week milestone is a major one for my used-to-be picky eater who falls back on cereal & fresh-yos when we’re tired of forcing her to eat real food. And amazingly, she now eats better than ever.

We still get the usual, I don’t want this, I want that ooo, but we are like a 60% improvement in that area And It was only recently- like this week she mentioned how much she missed golden morn & I kinda decided I was going to get it for February and incorporate it for once a week meal. GOLDEN y’all that’s how I feel about all this. GOD IS GOOD, brethren, he is!

Now, looking back to all those frustrating years behind us, I wish I didn’t worry so much & enjoyed every single moment.

Cozzzzzz when they say “They grow way too fast” believe me mom of toddler, they are right.

I am not saying she is all perfect o -very far from it honestly, but our days are filled with more JOY now, because we have reached this tandem that just really tugs at my heart.

I recently even stopped her regular extra lessons till 4pm in school, so she can close at 2pmish and be home early. I wanted to spend more time with this grown up 4-year-old of mine & it’s been so beautiful. I never thought the day would ever come… & I used to really feel so guilty for being an unnatural mom who looked forward to opportunities to be able to catch her breathe away from her child.

Now, I kinda feel emotionally at peace & almost ready to start trying for another one. YAY! I said ALMOST. ( I want no one in my DM asking me how far o— T for TENKS) *drops the mic & walks—NO sashays away*

And I here is a letter I wish someone could have wriiten to me those early years;

Hey darling mama,

YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB.

Your work and efforts do not go unnoticed. You are not in this alone. God chose you specifically to be this child’s mother, specifically at a time like this. So you have all it takes.

Don’t forget to take a break even when your children are present. It is important that your child sees you prioritizing yourself, so that this is normalized in the relationship. If you always disrupt what you are doing, you’ll never get anything done. Know that it’s okay to ask your toddler for five minutes to finish up what you’re doing before assisting them. This will teach them patience and that you are a human being – not a robot. 

It’s going to get easier. I promise. And while it may not happen today or even next week or even next month, it will happen. And you will look around in wonder at the magnificent child (ren)  you helped to create and nurture and sustain.

Until then, you are stronger and more resilient than you can even imagine.

You’ve got this. Today and always.

Love,

A fellow mama

 I hope that made you smile & if you’re wondering how quiet time for kids works & how you can incorporate it?

Check out this amazing resource from my amazing mentor

5 tips to rock out QUIET with your kids

From Good to BETTER? Here are 5 Upgrades you can introduce RIGHT NOW for your kids

And here; for countless mommy advice that can help you through this season as a mom;

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