MONEY NO DEY BUT WE WAN MARRY

So, I struggled a bit coming up with the title of this post. None seem to fit except this pidgin version of my best option. So pls manage it like that🤣

This is a follow up post from a table shaking post I did last month (more like lastttt eight months because this post coming long after I had intend to publish it). The number of ppl in my DM after that post?? to ask questions or disagree with me? Too many to count! You should definitely catch up if you are yet to read it, but pls don’t come to my DM ooo, let’s settle it in the comment section🤩

But first go read the post first

Weddings are not expensive, your taste buds are.

This post is a build up from it and I am ready to get right into it.

So, you’re ready to walk down the aisle with with your dream guy/lady, it’s been a sweet long dating ride & you are both ready to take the plunge and make it official…

All the boxes are ticked except one major one- MONEY.

You just even tried to inquire about the prices of some favorite vendors you have saved on IG for a while— and the price they are calling? “They better be giving you their human team members as maids after the wedding cozzz what!???? People spend this much on these things” You wonder !

And it’s not like you are broke o or anything, your funds are probably just locked up in some projects or you’re saving up for the actual marriage that comes after the paparazzi wedding, and you are getting to realize that the wedding videos that you awww awww awwww to on Instagram probably cost millions and these are millions that even if you have right now, you are too much of a smart money person to actually just spend it on a one-day wedding.

Long story short sha, you no get money for this kain wedding but you wan marry . What can you do? Well, this post is for you, read on!

The good news is, with the right factors in place—guests count being the most important—even as low as 1M (or less) can give you a very beautiful wedding. But the very first step is to get REAL with yourself.

No uncle is suddenly showing up weeks before to shoulder your wedding needs ooo and Dangote will not just realize you’re his daughter & come find you. Get realistic!

Ask yourself: “How much can I truly afford for this special day?” How much do I have? Get the figure, write it down. This amount shouldn’t be your entire savings; you should set aside funds for the wedding aftermath (I trust you already know this anyway ☺️). This done, here are some options you have:

1. Just legal: this has been, and will always be a life-saver. There is no point throwing a party if you can’t afford it, sis. It’s plain stupidity, trust me.

Stretching yourself (or your partner) thin will not help in any way either. And no one would be impressed by an unaffordable lavish, at least not for long. Now imagine going hungry after impressing the world. Just go legal and happily move to you husband’s house, abeg. Shikena! But if you have some more cash to spare, try number 2.

2. Solo wedding: Find a good outdoor venue (beach, park, etc.) that’s affordable. Just get a good photographer and videographer that you can pay per hour for an outdoor gathering of you, your significant other, and 2- 4 friends. Rent/sew a gown/tux, get a good make-up artist to do an owambe make-up for you, DIY your hair styling (or get an affordable stylist) and do vow recitation/mini ceremony (You could get a Pastor to join you, if this is important to you). Just talk about your journey to each other; create precious memories and live in the moment.

Plan for it to be short so you don’t have to get chairs at all. Invite your parent only if you’re sure they won’t bring extra people, but if your parent are typical Nigerians like mine, don’t. Better still; surprise them with it. Just get them to dress up and have someone bring them to the venue. Cook up a story they’ll buy to make it believable. And you can get take-away food packs for your small guests with 20k or less. If you’ve seen that video of Simi and Adekunle’s wedding; you’d understand what I’m talking about.

If not inviting your parent to this sounds like a NO NO to you

Go back to read this table shaking post I earlier mentioned.

Weddings are not expensive, your taste buds are.

3. Intimate wedding: this is just like number 2 but with more guests (not more than your budget can cover, say 50-80, perhaps 100). You may need to get chairs, decorator, and caterer for this. And translates to more money. So weigh your options before you decide.

4. Elopement: Here, you and your significant half runs away to a far-away place and build yourself a beautiful home. Hmn! Is this even an option in Nigeria? LOL. I think not. ha ha ha. But wait, I heard about this Nigerian couple who ran away, got married and raised two great kids and then returned after 10 years of marriage to do the needful; fulfil traditional righteousness. So why not, if you and bae get the liver! 😂

Well that’s all, for now. I hope this tips were helpful? And you get what I was really trying to say here; Wedding na paparazzi, marriage is what matters.

And if you still want do paparazzi? That’s very OK. In fact my job depends on that 😃. Do the paparazzi & at least make sure you aren’t getting into debt to do it.

Paparazzi options for yourself & significant other alone w/o ‘feeding the nation’ are those above. I really hope either resonates with you and encourages you to save that money if you don’t have to/ can’t afford to be lavish.

Do you still have some questions? Read on!

I honestly know someone is eyeballing me NOW and wondering why I am not talking about family factors that can make any of these options hard but?

Well, we gonna get to it. The big elephant in the room.

FAMILY FACTORS: ok so; you are the first child & you want to give your mum her dream wedding on your day.

Your family has been looking for an avenue to party and you can’t very well deny them that.

Your friends are plenty and you just don’t want to offend anybody by not inviting them to your wedding!

I see you darling bride/groom-to-be, and honestly your reasons are valid. If you can afford to indulge your mum/ family/ friends, then truly go ahead.

But if you know in your heart of heart that you cannot afford it, then know that your decision to do you is ONLY your decision and your parent/ family/ friends won’t be able to help you when YAWA burst o

Plus ehn, this is 2022 forghusake, you should be able to have an honest conversation with your parent/ family about your position… and don’t get fooled when they say, they will sort feeding o, especially if you know they can’t really afford it.. because what that translates to really is an average party that food circulation will be a REAL problem.

One gist ehn: most of my big budget client that spends this millions on their weddings are prolly spending like 1/10th of their savings because

Someone: Erm, Dammy thank you for this write-up. Number 2 sounds really nice but I am not a creative; I won’t even know what to do to make the video fun.

Me: Girl, at Rightessential Events we have a consultation package for low budget couples and you’ll be surprised to know how affordable it is. This option gets you hours of consultation with us, in which we get you those vendors that will charge moderately, bring your ideas to life and make your day fun by simply following the production scripts created by our team for the vow recitation program! If this sounds great to you? Then hit me up!

Have any more questions on this post or any other areas of event planning you will like me to write about soon. Please reach out via hello@rightessential.com .

Love and light ♥️

Your fav wedding planner,

Damilola ♥️

P:S: this post was written over 9 months ago I had completed it & somehow just forgot to publish it😱.

I had a conversation with a darling friend about this family hassle thing last weekend and while I was sharing my own personal experience with her about it, I remembered that I had a post about this situation that never went LIVE.

And so here we are. Thank you for reading as always.

A biggggg shout out to one amazing human being that bugged me for this post for the longest time. My future sweetest & most-dramatic bride, Adira. I honestly just want to hug you right now. Thank you!