Weddings are not expensive. It’s all about your taste bud.

Really?

I hear someone say…

Really?

So explain to me why when you talk about weddings, the budget goes up in MILLIONS😁

Girl, sit down and let’s talk through this, shall we?

Or maybe you are a dude that is curious enough to be reading this right now😁… I judge you not my guy, sit and listen up… Oooops read up, will ya?

Anyway, I hope as you read this, you hear my voice saying this out loud to you because really WEDDINGS ARE NOT EXPENSIVE. 

And this blog post is not a subtle one neither is it for high-end couples who truly can afford an expensive or high-budget wedding. It is for the couple who obviously cannot with their current/possible account balance afford the wedding budget they have drawn up but are praying to God to rain his blessings upon them so that they can afford it😁

Yes you, this post is for you.

So let’s get right into it…

Weddings are not expensive. It is your idea of what weddings should be that is expensive. 

Your taste buds are high and too many screenshot from bellanaija is the cause of the problem. You are unrealistic about the state of the finances and despite knowing that your guest list of 500+ is an upending factor, you just can’t bring your self to trim your guest list because “what will this person think if I don’t invite them to my wedding” or oh yes, the favourite go-to-line, your family is quite large and everybody has to be invited..  Right?

You have 2 million naira for this wedding and somehow it should be able to feed your 500 guest comfortably and fit in every other thing, right?

Now, let’s do the math, say a plate of food cost 2000 per plate (regular plate o) or maybe you even have a caterer that will do 1500 for you. 1500 X 500 = 750k or maybe you are really lucky or you have a caterer in your family, 1k per guest is the least you would most likely get, that still totals to 500k

That’s just food 

Drinks are not inclusive o

Neither is venue/location

Neither are all the many vendors that will be involved

Nor are your outfits… Now did you say 2m again?

Honestly ehn, this blog post is bad for business (bcos a planner thrives on high end clients, those ones that will spend 2m on a wedding shoe & not bat an eyelid and honestly, I pray for such clients daily😁), but the I-have-been-there-done-that part of me will not allow me to know this truth and not share it.

One of my current read is a new book of Adam Grant titled “Think Again; The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know”

I am barely half way in and I been prompted to rethink a lot of things in my life…

So when someone asked me this morning why weddings are expensive, my usual response of “well, expensive is relative” didn’t seem to work because really who spoon fed us the idea of what weddings are?

Who is the god of weddings that say we must do this or that at our wedding?

What is the penalty if we don’t do these things?

And what exactly is the deal with 400 guest, 500 guest, 600 guest if we truly can afford to entertain/cater for these guests?

Now, before you go ahead and frown, as I have earlier said, know that this blog post is not for everyone… 

It is for those couple who want to get married, can not afford a ‘big wedding’ & something about this is dampening their joy…

It is for the couple who maybe between the husband & the wife, they have only one car, but are considering spending 3x – 5x what will buy the wife a new car on wedding expenses and don’t see anything wrong with it…

It is for those couple who would go lengths to feed/ entertain 500 guest at their reception but don’t have plans for their honeymoon because their budget cannot accommodate even a 3-night stay-in a resort/hotel.

It is for the couple who are planning on the money they will be sprayed at their wedding reception to pay vendor balances…

Can I hold your ears for a minute and scream something at you—YOU are your own PROBLEM. Weddings are not expensive, it’s your taste buds that are high, it’s the 10001 pictures that are saved on your Pinterest & the bellanaija posts that’s affecting you.

What should a wedding be about? 

Two people celebrating their love…

You know what we have made it about in this Naija?

A gathering to prove to your guest that you are RICH or at least that you can afford to feed 500 of them w/o going broke… 

Mtcheww

You know how many people at my own 400 guest wedding 4 years ago remembered what they ate at my wedding? Or what my wedding meal tasted like?

None.

Zilch.

Nada.

Not even me…

You know how many of them checked on us after our wedding? A handful.

How many couple have I, even me oo checked on after I ate so well at their wedding reception?

See ehn, we need to start rethinking these traditions and ask why? 

Why is this like this?

Or why is that like that?

And like I earlier said, this blog for not for the rich. If you are not a MEKUNU pls, here is where you should stop reading this…

So my fellow mekunu geng, What should determine your wedding budget ?

How much you have after

1) you have set up your new home to the level that makes you happy…

2) You have major things that will make your marriage life comfortable

3) You have booked your honeymoon— now, let me dwell on this a bit:

Do you how many times I have asked clients about their honeymoon and they have said let’s sort food first? Or something of sort… ?

Too many to count.

Now I am not saying prioritising feeding your guest is bad– but I just want to ask something, come closer pls🤔– this 500 guest that you want to feed by all means, how many of them do you know or have a personal relationship with?

Honeymoon is for you- not for your guest, not to make your parents happy– for you. And you know that honeymoon doesn’t necessarily mean ‘the abroad’ right?

For as low as btw 200k – 500k can get you a 1 week staycation in one of the resorts in Lagos or even lesser in other states.

A week where you with peace of mind knowing that you didn’t borrow money ‘to do wedding’ nor do you owe any vendor. A week where you can thoroughly enjoy the bliss of the first days of marriage. Why would you say NO to that to feed some 200-500 guests that you don’t even know their name?

If you ever find yourself looking for how to trim or reduce your wedding budget, the first place to look at is cutting your guest size.

Now let’s take a look at a 50 guest size event with that same one million

Food: 2k X 50 = 100k

Now compare that 750k to this 100k

Is the 600k difference not enough to plan a great honeymoon or even put away in your savings account?

Think about it dearest?

Why do you want all those many guest at your wedding?

Why are you so intent on MAJORING in the MINOR?

Are you ready to take a second look at your wedding budget & guest list?

Now let’s go back to those factors that should determine your wedding budget again…

Your wedding budget is the amount of money you have LEFT after

1) You have set up your new home to the level that makes you happy..

2) You have major things that will make your marriage life comfortable (savings inclusive)

3) You have booked your honeymoon

So let’s say after you have crossed 1,2 and 3 off the list, the amount you have left is 1.5m Naira or say 500 thousand Naira? What should you do then?

MAKE THE AMOUNT WORK.

DO YOUR WEDDING WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.

I know this isn’t what you had hoped to read darling, but there are no truer words. 

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Realistically speaking though, what can 500k really do in today’s economy where that alone could be easily be a photographer’s bill?

Simple answer? CUT YOUR CLOTH ACCORDING TO YOUR CLOTH/MATERIAL (NOT SIZE O)

There is always a vendor who will take exactly what you have.

And while I definitely will do a separate post on different ways to have a low budget & memorable weddings (be on the look out), know this as I round up this longggg post; No matter how hard you think staying within this LOW budget is, it is actually possible.

You just have to decide that you will FOCUS on the MAJOR (marriage) and not the MINOR (wedding), you will be willing to throw traditions outta the window, and the bellanaija expectation will give way to your budget defined possibility.

Don’t start a marriage with the foundation of debt, don’t do more than you can afford. Plan within your means.

I will leave you with this;

“There is precious treasure and oil in the house of the wise [who prepare for the future], but a short sighted man swallows it up and wastes it”

Proverb 21:20 AMP

12 thoughts on “Weddings are not expensive. It’s all about your taste bud.”

  1. Focus more on what makes you happy and the other way round, your marriage is your home, after the wedding nobody will ask you if you have eaten 3 times in a day or not. 😊

  2. Pingback: MONEY NO DEY BUT WE WAN MARRY - Damilola Akingbola

  3. Pingback: Money no dey but we wan marry - Rightessential Events

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